Praise is a mighty force that can transform our lives. It was the catalyst that lifted me from a place of despair and brought hope back into my world. Growing up, all I ever wanted was to become a mother, a longing that ran deep within me. Today, I'll share a little of the process that broke me and restored me at the same time.  

When Kelly and I decided to start our family, we were filled with hope and excitement. After several years of trying and facing the reality that it wasn't happening naturally, we sought help through In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF). After a year of emotional ups and downs, we finally received the joyous news that we were expecting. My heart swelled with gratitude, believing that our dream was finally coming true. But one fateful evening, everything changed. As I experienced an unsettling feeling, we rushed to the hospital, only to be met with the most devastating news—our precious baby was gone. 

My body and mind broke. All my hope died in that news.  I didn't shed a tear at the hospital, but I collapsed when I reached my home.  I laid in bed, broken and in despair. Immediately, depression took hold.  I felt it like a thick blanket. All I did was stay in my bed wanting my world to end right there.  

I tried my best to return to a sense of normalcy. I put on a smile and assured everyone that everything was all right. I preached messages of hope and victory each Sunday and Wednesday, but when I returned home, I often found myself back in bed. I encouraged others yet felt defeated; I declared joy but struggled to feel it. Deep down, I was hurting and very lost.

I had stopped praying. I wouldn't say my love for Jesus faded, but I found myself without words to offer. Anger and despair consumed me. One night, as I lay in bed, I heard the Lord tell me, "You're going to praise me." I remember my immediate response: "No, I'm not. I have nothing to give you." Deep down, I knew that praise was my path to breakthrough; I had preached about it for years and had experienced it before. But this time felt different—I had never been this broken.

A few more weeks passed, and I started putting music on through my phone.  I couldn't sing or pray, but I could listen.  I even, at times, found myself humming the songs, the days were getting lighter.  One night, I fell into a deep sleep and the Lord visited me. 

In my dream, I found myself in a moment of praise and worship. I was singing a song titled "Healing is Here," written by Daniel Eric Groves and Jonathan Stockstill. Even though I was asleep, tears were streaming down my cheeks in the dream and soaking my pillow in reality. When I reached the part of the song that repeats, "Healing is here, Healing is here, and I can feel it," my gaze shifted to my bedroom door. At that moment, I sensed the presence of Jesus entering my room. It felt surreal I was experiencing it both in my dream and in reality. He walked over to my broken, rejected body and lifted the pain, hurt, fear, and rejection from my shoulders. Instantly, I  felt a release and a profound sense of wholeness. After removing my guilt and hurt, Jesus turned and walked out of my room, and as He did, I awakened to my new freedom. 

I tell everyone Jesus knew what I needed to be whole.  He knew praise would break the chains off my heart and mind.  When He knew I was ready He walked in and healed my heart.  

This is just a brief glimpse into my lengthy journey, but I felt compelled to share it with you today. Praise acts as a powerful force that breaks the grip of the enemy. I’m thankful for the uplifting song that helped me through a devastating time. In moments like these, I’ve discovered that praise is the gift we have to see Jesus even more clearly.  If you're going through something rough, need direction, or are looking for peace, start praising the Lord; He'll enter the room. 

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